Raising Our Rainbow Charlotte

My dear sweet Moira Mae,
I have been missing you a lot today, like I do everyday, but today I am in some sort of funk. I don't really want to get moving, but I need to do it. Mommy has a check up with her doctor today to see how I am doing with my blood pressure. I really want to get it under control so we can have a baby brother or sister for you. I wonder everyday why this had to happen to us. Why were you taken from daddy and I? What did we do? We love you so much and loved you before you were even conceived. We had so many plans for you this summer, so many things we wanted to do with you. Everyday I get up hoping that I will wake up from this awful nightmare and you are here with us, but I don't wake up from it I continue to be in this nightmare everyday. I wonder what you would look like now, would you be cooing at me, smiling, laughing. Sometimes I dwell on those thoughts, but then I have to stop myself because I know how sad they will make me. Some days getting through the day is so hard, and other days I forget where the day went. Your daddy is amazing and helps me get through the day, everyday. Sometimes he doesn't know that he does, but he does. Your daddy and I think of you everyday. We know you are in a better place where you are and you aren't in pain anymore and that makes us feel at peace, but it's also so hard for us to think of you there. Why aren't you here with us?
I am so bad at these things, but I felt the need to write you a letter today. To tell you how much I love you and miss you today and everyday. I get mad at myself some days because I forgot to think about you, but then I realize you are always present in my thoughts even if I don't always remember what they were. You are always in my heart and in my mind, you always will be no matter how old I am or how many more babies I have, you will always be my first sweet little angel.
I love you Miss Moira Mae. Please bless your daddy and I with another sweet baby to bring home and live with us here on Earth. We need you, but know we can't have you, so now we need a baby sister or brother to fill our empty arms and our empty house.
I love you with all of my heart,
Mommy<3