Christmas.....Bah Humbug?

So, there is this commercial on TV that I just HATE right now. It's a commercial for a local jewelery store. It's this woman rocking her baby girl in front of the Christmas tree and her husband comes downstairs. She says it's 2am and the baby just fell asleep. The dad says something along the lines of "It's 2am on our first Christmas together as a family." ***CRIES*** It makes me want to scream! That's supposed to be Dave and I and Moira and it's not us. It will NOT be us this year. I want to throw something at the TV whenever that commercial comes on. I mean, we do have a lot to be happy about this Christmas and a lot to be sad about as well. We are expecting a new baby, but we are also mourning the loss of our daughter who should be here with us. I am having a really hard time getting into the Christmas spirit this year.
Anyway, there we have it. Moira is never far from my thoughts. I think of her everyday. I think of holding her, smelling her, and just feeling her in my arms, wishing I could hold her again, but this time never let go. This new baby is a blessing for us, a way for us to heal and to maybe fill a little bit of the hole left behind after Moira died, but this baby won't be replacement for Moira. Nothing or noone will ever replace our first born daughter. We are looking to the future now and trying to think about this baby and take everything one day at a time, but also never forgetting our sweet angel.