I feel hopeful today. Hopeful for a better year and that things will start to turn around for us. Today I celebrate my 34th birthday, feeling a little old!! I also am celebrating the new year, as well as my 15th week of pregnancy!! 15 weeks!! Approximately 22 more weeks to go, that is if this baby comes at 37 weeks. If not, it's 23 more weeks. Not too shabby!! 22 weeks sounds a lot shorter than 5 months for some reason.
Today I am doing a whole lot of nothing!! I took a shower and I am sitting in my sweats. That's what I want to do for my birthday. Dave will make me a nice dinner with some good meat we bought at the butcher the other day. We will relax, maybe play some Wii bowling or something, and possibly watch a movie.
That's my day!!
I am also excited because an online friend that I have met is helping me to redesign this blog for the new year and the new baby! So, look for that in the coming week!!
Happy New Year everyone and may your 2010 bring you lots of joy!!
Showing posts with label reflections on a new year. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reflections on a new year. Show all posts
Friday, January 1, 2010
Thursday, December 31, 2009
See ya later 2009 and don't come back!!!
I am so glad that we are in the last few hours of 2009. It started out as a wonderful year. We were expecting our first baby and we were so excited. Then that fateful day came, May 8, 2009. It sucked. We found out our baby was born with severe brain damage and she wouldn't live.
As we are about to embark on a new year, I am feeling hopeful. Still a little sad, but hopeful. Since Moira's passing, I have battled with post-partum depression, I mean who wouldn't after the hell I went through? I have met some amazing women who have helped my heart to heal some. I got my blood pressure under control and my PPD as well. I have grown closer to my wonderful husband and we have really been there for each other. I have grown closer to some friends and also haven't spoken to friends since Moira's death. I have gotten used to a new me. It's not a better me, but a new me. The me after my baby died. I have gotten over the fear of my new niece and embraced her with open arms. She has become a big part of my healing as well. She is the most amazing little girl. She probably will never really know how much she helped her auntie and uncle. Then in October we found our rainbow. We were pregnant again. The emotions were running wild. Our world was going to be changed again. More appointments, more worries, more excitement. Everything is going well though! Sometimes I feel guilty because all I had of Moira was my pregnancy with her and now I am sharing those only moments with another child. A child who will hopefully heal our heart just a little more. How can I be so happy, but also feel so guilty?
2010, I feel like it's going to be a good year. I mean, it has to be a good year after the hell we have been through, right??? Why would the universe do that to us again?
Welcome 2010 and please, please bring us the hope and healing that we need!
As we are about to embark on a new year, I am feeling hopeful. Still a little sad, but hopeful. Since Moira's passing, I have battled with post-partum depression, I mean who wouldn't after the hell I went through? I have met some amazing women who have helped my heart to heal some. I got my blood pressure under control and my PPD as well. I have grown closer to my wonderful husband and we have really been there for each other. I have grown closer to some friends and also haven't spoken to friends since Moira's death. I have gotten used to a new me. It's not a better me, but a new me. The me after my baby died. I have gotten over the fear of my new niece and embraced her with open arms. She has become a big part of my healing as well. She is the most amazing little girl. She probably will never really know how much she helped her auntie and uncle. Then in October we found our rainbow. We were pregnant again. The emotions were running wild. Our world was going to be changed again. More appointments, more worries, more excitement. Everything is going well though! Sometimes I feel guilty because all I had of Moira was my pregnancy with her and now I am sharing those only moments with another child. A child who will hopefully heal our heart just a little more. How can I be so happy, but also feel so guilty?
2010, I feel like it's going to be a good year. I mean, it has to be a good year after the hell we have been through, right??? Why would the universe do that to us again?
Welcome 2010 and please, please bring us the hope and healing that we need!
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