Thursday, December 10, 2009

Christmas.....Bah Humbug?

So, there is this commercial on TV that I just HATE right now. It's a commercial for a local jewelery store. It's this woman rocking her baby girl in front of the Christmas tree and her husband comes downstairs. She says it's 2am and the baby just fell asleep. The dad says something along the lines of "It's 2am on our first Christmas together as a family." ***CRIES*** It makes me want to scream! That's supposed to be Dave and I and Moira and it's not us. It will NOT be us this year. I want to throw something at the TV whenever that commercial comes on. I mean, we do have a lot to be happy about this Christmas and a lot to be sad about as well. We are expecting a new baby, but we are also mourning the loss of our daughter who should be here with us. I am having a really hard time getting into the Christmas spirit this year.
Anyway, there we have it. Moira is never far from my thoughts. I think of her everyday. I think of holding her, smelling her, and just feeling her in my arms, wishing I could hold her again, but this time never let go. This new baby is a blessing for us, a way for us to heal and to maybe fill a little bit of the hole left behind after Moira died, but this baby won't be replacement for Moira. Nothing or noone will ever replace our first born daughter. We are looking to the future now and trying to think about this baby and take everything one day at a time, but also never forgetting our sweet angel.


Elizabeth said...

Oh sweety my heart breaks for you. Just remember you are not alone. *hugs*

beth said...

hugs, Alison...although you will never forget, and shouldn't forget, I hope the days get easier!

The Blue Sparrow said...

I've seen this comercial too and I despise it as well. Im right there with ya on this one. *HUGS*

Andrea said...

I remember seeing that commercial too and it made me cry, as my EDD was approaching in a couple of days. A reminder for me of what will not be....

It's ok to not feel the "entire spirit" of Christmas. Just feel what you can, WHEN you can.

Love and Hugs as you remember your angel


Prather Family said...

I know the comercial you are talking about. I know it must be so difficult to think of what should be. I hope things get easier and the little blessing you are growing will bring you joy very soon. (((Hugs)))

Cat's Litterbox said...

I hate that commerical as well. I see how you view it as what you should have, and I view it as what I may not ever have. I have to be thankful though and appreciate what I do have, and the positive things happening for us now.

You are not alone in missing Moira and you'll never not miss her. Until you die, you will always miss her and grieve for her.

I'm just so happy that you guys have some wonderful things going on and a new baby will be entering your life. Your new baby will not be taking Moira's place, as nothing ever can/will.

Each day will get easier and this will be the most difficult Christmas for you. Just try to get through it and remember that you have so many who love you!!


Debbie said...

I know that commercial too. :(

Holly said...

I think I've seen that commercial. :(

Stephanie said...

the thing that *I* personally hate about that commercial is that he gives her a freaking WATCH!!!
how about a diamond necklace or something NICE??!!!
not just a stinking WATCH!!

anyhoo---hugs and love to you!!