21 days......sigh. That's how many days I have left before I go back to work and leave my precious daughter in the care of someone else. I know she will be in good hands, but having been a nanny myself for a little babe, I know there will possibly be many firsts that I will miss. Charlotte hasn't started rolling yet, she's not fond of tummy time and will tolerate playing on the floor for a little while. I try to do it with her everyday. It hit me this morning as I showered with her sitting in her bouncy seat outside the shower, that I could possibly miss her rolling over for the first time. This really sucks! These are the sacrifices I have to make though. Am I OK with these sacrifices? No, not really. I mean, come on, my first daughter died! I will never have any firsts with Moira, never! Here I am blessed with another chance to experience these firsts and I have to send her off to daycare, where they might possibly get to see them!
I have to admit though, I have the perfect job to have with kids. I work in a Jr. High. I go in at 7ish and I'm out by 2pm. I have nothing to bring home with me. I get to leave work right away, no late days, do duties, etc. I can run right to daycare since it's behind the high school which is across the street from me! I can pick her up and we have the afternoon together. I get the weekends, holidays, school vacations, and then summer! So, I really do have the perfect job, if I have to work.
With the economy the way it is and the fact that we need to buy a new car for Dave, I have to work. We need my paycheck to help pay the mortgage. Thank goodness for Dave's extra job as Energy Manager, which will help to pay for daycare. It would be great if we could afford a nanny!!
This is where I am, trying to enjoy every last minute I have with her, but also worrying about our next big transition. I think tomorrow, if I can remember to bring my camera upstairs tonight, I will do a day in the life of Mama and Charlotte. That way I can document how we have spent our days!
Now I will leave you with some daily cuteness! This is Charlotte cuddling with my Uncle Andy when we went to visit him on Saturday.
4 comments:
oh, Alison..it kills me..you want to stay home so bad!!! agh! You DO have a great work scheduled, though, so thank goodness for that!
Really, though...we cut our income in half by me staying home with Garrett..it's been a learning process, and I know everyone's bills are different, but if you find you just can't leave her, feel free to talk to me about what sacrifices we are making and what changes we made in our spending habits to be able to let me stay home....
I don't know how all the working mamas do it...I stayed home with Trenton until he was about 9 months then I HAD to go back, and I worked full time until Garrett was almost here, so I worked 45 hours a week until Trenton was 12...I missed alot of time with him, and I am not missing my time with Garrett. Working mamas of new babies are much stronger than I am...kudos to you!
I am not trying to make you feel bad, I hope it didn't come across that way, it just sounds like you REALLY would love to stay home...enjoy the rest of your summer vacation!
She is so precious!! I just love your sweet baby!
i totally understand your sadness about missing the 'firsts'.. i went back to work when mikayla was 7 or 8 weeks old because i had to, not because i wanted to- the first 7 months, she was with my in-laws and parents before our daycare had an opening- so i wouldnt miss the big 'firsts' such as rolling over, crawling, etc, everyone was so great at stopping mikayla from doing these things if i wasn't around! (then i'd push her to do them at home that night!) i know you can't always stop things (heck, she may roll over for the first time in bed and you won't see it!) but don't hesitate to ask daycare to pick her up rather than letting her roll all the way over if she's headed that way!!! (us mommies can have some pretty funny requests!)
Oh my hearts breaks thinking of your first day back. It is so hard, I cried so much. Praying that your transition will be ok for you and the baby. ((HUGS))
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